


Why

by tonystarking



Category: Metalocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarking/pseuds/tonystarking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toki can't understand why his brothers in Dethklok didn't come to save him from the Masked Metal Assassin sooner, and turns to Skwisgaar for answers and healing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why

It sunk through his skin until it poisoned him.

The images of Dethklok, of his brothers, drinking to excess while tabloids wondered at his location. Their words, always dismissive. “No comment.”

They knew he was gone and the state he was in. They had seen him stabbed by Magnus’ hand. Had they wept for him? Had they even _missed_ him?

Did they even _care_?

His scar still throbbed in the darkness. He remembered Magnus’ hands roving over his body, pouring the bottom shelf liquor over his wound and taking swigs as he stitched him together. Magnus had shown him more care than any of Dethklok had. Magnus had at least been down there with him in the pit.

And what had they done? Forgotten about him. Turned all the images of him face down. Filed him away like one of Charles’ forgotten damage reports. Set him on a bookshelf filled with dust.

They had compartmentalized their lives so that _their fun_ had mattered more than _his life_.

He sobbed a lot at night, but he cried the most because of that.

His friends, the ones that he saw as his family, had turned his back on him for so long. If not for Ishnifus and Charles, would they have even have given him a second thought? If not for the damage to record sales, would they have come back for him?

Or would he still be down there, tortured by the Metal Masked Assassin and Magnus Hammersmith?

They had saved him, but why had it taken so long?

Tears turned to rage, and he refused to leave his room. When the others tried to visit, he had the Klokateers send them away. He felt walled in and trapped, only now it was in his own home and because of the people around him. He wanted everything, including them, to just disappear.

It was clear they worried. Sometimes they all came at once, but he would pretend to be asleep. He heard them talking about him, worrying over his mental state. But if they had worried about him so much, why had they left him with Magnus to rot?

When the Klokateers didn’t send them away, he would do so by keeping the conversations short. Their interactions were always terse. Even with Skwisgaar, who he got along with on a different fundamental level than the others.

He was just so scared. But he was just so mad.

But even the most well-built dams have breaking points.

"I don’t sees why you’re sos upset," Skwisgaar said one afternoon. That was it. The proverbial straw that broke the fucking camel’s back.

"You don’t sees? You don’t sees it? That yous left me? That yous all forgotten about me? You knows who hads me. You _knows_ it, but you leaves me all the same. You forgets me because you don’t wants me—unless it’s convenient!”

"Tokis—ah—"

"No! No, Skwisgaar!" Toki stepped toward him, his hands in fists. Skwisgaar knew the look, but he didn’t move away. "You wants to knows why I’m so upset? _Because you abandons me_!”

"Toki…" He didn’t try to make an excuse to the man screaming in his face, and Toki was at least thankful for that. He waited for an apology, his lip wibbling and his eyes threatening to spill over with tears. _No_ , he told himself, willing himself not to cry in front of Skwisgaar.

"Screws you!" Toki’s punch flew straight and knocked Skwisgaar back against the wall. Even Toki forgot his own strength sometimes, and Skwisgaar’s bloody nose brought him back to himself. He wasn’t sorry, though… It had felt good.

"I deserves that," Skwisgaar said.

"You dos!" Toki said.

"Then hits me again," Skwisgaar said. "Until you feels better. Then stops and bes happy."

Toki raised his fist again, but Skwisgaar didn’t flinch. “Why?” he asked. Unbidden tears ran down his cheeks. “Why didn’t you comes for me?”

Skwisgaar never flinched. He never looked away from Toki’s eyes.

"I’m sorry," he said.

Toki’s arm shook until he wrapped his arms around Skwisgaar’s middle, crying into his chest. His rage broke back into sadness and poured over the surface, like a cup being force to hold too much.

Skwisgaar didn’t move. He was strong as always. His arms wrapped around Toki’s head and his fingers wound through his hair. “I’m sorry. Wes all sorry,” he said. And then he held Toki until he could cry no more.


End file.
